On the Radar: March 27

Photo credit: Erik Johansson

Photo credit: Erik Johansson

After a bizarre afternoon complete with bomb scares and armed bank robbers, I managed to cobble together some tasty tidbits for y’all. Are you feeling the love?

1. Having run out of options, Microsoft has stooped to differentiating themselves from Apple on the basis of price alone. Next week, they’ll start giving away free toasters with every purchase. Watch this pathetic ad, complete with the money quote: “I’m just not cool enough to be a Mac person.” Actually, you’re not rich enough. Go >>

2. In a shocking turn of events, YouTube has added a Twitter button to its “share” toolbar, making it [gasp!] possible for users to Tweet about their favorite videos. I’m not sure which is more f**ked up—the fact that it took YouTube this long to add a Twitter button or that TechCrunch thinks this is a big deal? Honestly, I have belly button lint that’s more cutting-edge than this. Go, if you must >>

3. JetBlue puts out this “confidential” message to CEOs; results in Genius peeing herself laughing—and provides further evidence that flying is for pigeons. Watch >>

4. “App of the Week,” Shazam, which IMHO is magic. Pure magic. Also, it’s free!

5. Last but certainly not least, I give you a whole new way to experience penis-envy >>

Let the good times roll!

WTF?????

Roughly once a week, I get an email like this one in my inbox:

spam

Normally I don’t even open them — I just hit the “SPAM” button on gmail and move on. But today, curiosity tapped me on the shoulder and I opened this little gem, and thought… WHAT. THE. F**K?!?

Where do these emails come from?

What’s their purpose?

Is it some kind of twisted market research tactic?

Is it just cyber-trash?

Does ANYBODY actually respond to these? They must, right? Or they would cease to continue?

What’s the CTR on these, I wonder? Higher than normal? Lower?

Seriously, folks…. WTF???!!!!?

Now that Curiosity had me going, I decided to dig through my Spam folder to see what other treasures I might find. I found plenty.

First there was this one, which bestowed upon me the good news that some random dead guy left me $30,100,000. Not too shabby.

spam2

And this one, in which a clever businessman from Hong Kong hand-picked me to launder a mere $10.6M in exchange for a piece of the action:

spam3

Nice!

Next, we have a dying woman in the Netherlands who wishes to leave me $1,500,000 to help widows and orphans—a career change I wasn’t planning on, but am now reconsidering since it is clearly quite lucrative. I also enjoy that she tells me point blank, “Do take this email as a contribution to fake (Spam)” right in the opening paragraph. Priceless!

spam4

I could go on all day with these. My Spam folder is littered with them… right alongside irresistible offers like “Lose Weight Quickly & Naturally!”, “Stay in Your Domicile to Earn 20grand in 30days”, and—my favorite—”Flush out excess pounds from your colon!”

Yes, these are actual subject lines, folks.

Which brings me back to my original question: WTF???

On the Radar: March 2

Better late than never? Better never? Better late?

You decide, because I’m busy!

1. Dave Knox echoes a few of my personal sentiments in this bit about why Brands Should Start Thinking Like Start-Ups >>

2. Josh Bernoff discuss the controversial idea of paying bloggers to post about your brand >>

3. Comedien Louis CK (???) points out the annoying truth about our impatient, entitled state-of-state in this hilarious YouTube video >>

4. iJustine gets married… to her iPhone (Viximo pro-mens included!) >>

5. And the “App of the Week,” iPushups reminds me that I really need to spend more time grunting on the floor.

Till next time…

-The Genius.

On the Radar: Feb 21, 2009

What’s on the Genius’ radar this week?

You know, the usual stuff… Barbies, Cylons, unicorns… and that other marketing crap.

1. Virtual economies appear to be doing better than our actually economy >>

2. Barbie is finally starting to look like a “real woman” >>

3. The new “4 P’s of Marketing” have no “P” in them >>

4. App of the Week: NBC Universal’s Cylon Detector. It’s frakkin’ awesome.

5. Having a bad day? Nothing a little cornification can’t fix >>

On the Radar: Feb 15, 2009

Top 'o the radar this week? iPhone iPhone iPHONE!!!!

Top 'o the radar this week? iPhone iPhone iPHONE!!!! Image courtesy of David Griffith's "Promotions 2.0" presentation available at http://www.slideshare.net/dgriffith/promotions-20-the-future-of-interactive-marketing-1008197

In an effort to be a little more ‘regular’ about this blogging thing, The Genius is experimenting with a weekly “What’s on the radar?” post. This here’s the first. Let me know what you think, ‘k? [as if I care]

***

WHAT’S ON THE RADAR?
FEB 15 EDITION

  1. Facebook is gaining on MySpace—especially in the  over 30 age group. In fact, Facebook’s over 30 growth is booming at around 24% per category, while their under 30 growth remains stagnant. MySpace continues to dominate in the high school & college age groups. More fascinating data on the Facebook v. MySpace showdown from Techno//Marketer Matt Dickman>>
  2. The iTunes App Store looks to be a $1 Billion cash-cow by the end of 2009, with over 500 million app downloaded already—200 million of which happened over the past 6 weeks. Think Apple execs will stimulate the economy with their 30% cut of that? More on The Little App Store That Could from CNBC’s Jim Goldman >>
  3. Apps of the Week: Drync (because I like to) and AllRecipes.com Dinner Spinner (because I’m lazy)
  4. This adorable lesbian makes videos. They’re not about anything. Well… they’re about her. Just talking, basically. About whatever. It’s the kind of YouTube sh*t I would normally roll my eyes at or just… ignore. And yet… I CANT STOP WATCHING!!!!!
  5. About half of 13-19 year-olds say they “would die” without their mobile phones. Oh, the drama!!!! This and more not-to-be-missed data in Harris Interactive’s “Generation Unplugged” report >>

And now… back to normal weekend Genius stuff.

Martini, anyone?

Where the f*%k is The Genius?

Going off-the-grid for a bit. Wish I could say I was heading to Bora Bora or some other remote, tropical island… but the truth is I’ve been kidnapped by small, angry people who have taken away all my high-tech devices and are forcing me to “sing Christmas carols,” “play board games,” “build snowmen” and perform various other bizarre, old-fashioned family rituals.

Completely evil, don’t you agree?

If their sinister plan works, you wont see or hear from The Genius until early next year.

So, until then… be safe. Be smart. And watch out for these guys:

The front-runner for Marketing Genius of the year?

I know everyone and her brother has written about the unbelievably savvy, effective marketing efforts of Team Obama… and as a Genius, I hate to jump on an already-crowded bandwagon. But, the facts are the facts. I must give credit where credit is due.

And so, Team Obama… my hat’s off to you.

Hey, that rhymed! Let’s hug 🙂