Flirt with me. I dare you. (I’ll also give you $10)

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Yes, this is actually a recent picture of me. I'm like SOOOOOOO hot.

Let’s pretend you & I met at a bar. And I was not already married. In fact, let’s pretend I was 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter, and a bra size bigger. Also, I’d already thrown back 2 martinis and was—in the immortal words of The Offspring—”looking to score”.

Now. Let’s pretend YOU were in the mood to score with me :).

And you have an iPhone.

And you don’t smell like mothballs or have something funny hanging out of your nose.

And you have a really, REALLY BIG… brain.

You make your move. You walk over and open the conversation with something sweet & sassy. Something like: “I noticed you noticing me.” [I was!]

I say: “Is it perhaps the ‘FLIRT WITH ME’ written across my chest?” [I am wearing a promotional tshirt for the TrueFlirt iPhone app… which is, to be honest, the whole point of this blog post]

You say: “Yep.”

Then I jump your bones. Then I smile, coyly… and slip you a business card with nothing but my iPhone # and a simple message: FLIRT WITH ME. (Just in case you missed it the first time).

Later that night… you can’t stop thinking about me (I can’t blame you). You WANT to call me. But you don’t want to sound too desperate. Or horny. Even though… you are.

Should you send me a text message? LAME.

An email? BORING.

How about a Flirt? YES! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whip out your…. iPhone. Select one of the 10 sexy, fun Flirts. Add a playful message. Enter my number. Send.

[30 minutes later…]

We’re in bed. My hair has that “FFL”. We’re smoking. Life is good.

And it’s all because of TrueFlirt.

“ONLY $3.99 in the iTunes App Store!
Get yours—and get laid!”

****

Was that as good for you as it was for me??? [As if I care]

Well, brace yourself for even more pleasure: I’m about to hand you a $10 iTunes gift card. And you wont even have to do something crazy like eat bugs or run naked through Central Park to get it. Some of you might call this “bribery”. I like to call it “marketing”. Let’s not split hairs.

Here’s the dealio:

1. Go to the iTunes App Store now and download TrueFlirt, the sexy little iPhone app (built by my posse here at Viximo) that lets you flirt—with style. TrueFlirt is just $3.99 through Valentine’s Day—and much less filling than those sugary Necco hearts. Here’s the link again: http://tinyurl.com/TrueFlirt

2. FLIRT WITH ME! No, really. TrueFlirt lets you send virtual “flirts” to other iPhone users. To get your $10 iTunes gift card, you’ll have to send that first flirt to me.

Personally, I’d love for you to send the Love Potion flirt (I’m kinda thirsty), but I’ll let you take your pick—there are 10 gorgeous “flirts” to choose from.

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I'm not eating my iPhone—I'm guzzling some Love Potion. DUH!

Here’s the number to send your flirt to: 617-417-7444

(Yes, it’s really my phone number—this week. No, I wont tell your girlfriend—or boyfriend or husband or wife—that you sent me a flirt. Now unbunch your panties and start flirting. It’s all good, clean fun.)

**IMPORTANT: Be sure to add a message with your email address so I can get you your iTunes gift card lickety split.**

3. Rate & review TrueFlirt at the iTunes App Store. (Here’s the link again http://tinyurl.com/TrueFlirt)

4. Join the TrueFlirt Facebook ‘Fan Club’ here: http://tinyurl.com/TrueFlirtFans

5. (Optional) Tell your friends! Know someone who has an iPhone? Think they might like a free $10 iTunes gift card? Forward this message to them.

So let’s review—
How to Get Your Free $10 iTunes Gift Card—without even leaving your chair:
Buy the app, send a flirt, write a review, join the club, pass it on…!

Easy peasy rice & cheesy.

I should probably point out that this little “promotion” is only valid for the next 48 hours. Though as a woman—and a genius—I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.

Oh—and for the 3 of you who don’t yet own an iPhone, all I have to say is this: GET. WITH. THE. PROGRAM.

You don’t really expect me to use a BLACKBERRY for flirting do you? YUCK.

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A little marketing genius from Durex

Honestly, I’ve never even heard of Durex… then again, I’m not exactly their target market. But this little piece of marketing genius practically made me pee myself. It’s NSFW, but then that’s true about most things I post on this blog, right?

Note: Turn up the volume when you watch this, the sound effects are precious.